I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, I am swipe right worthy!

Dear diary,

Since we last spoke, I have gained 20 lbs and lost my job. Aside from that, things have been going amazingly well.

Yours truly,
Kristen


Well, here I am......at the pinnacle of what should be my career. Instead, on this glorious Thursday July morning, sitting at my kitchen counter, frantically searching for a job....and my life's meaning.

I have ridden the roller coaster of emotions since late April, yet somehow I find myself back to feeling at peace with it. And then I snap out of that and realize these bills ain't payin' themselves.

CareerTinder (see below)

I've painstakingly filled out close to 100 applications for jobs of all types and had the pleasure of being interviewed, raked over the coals, and stared at blankly multiple times. I realize, unless it's a role in the construction or engineering industry, no one else really knows what to do with me. I kind of think I'm a catch. I'd date me. I'd date the hell out of me. But CareerTinder* sees my profile and that I am loyal, hard working, advanced my career through the years and......over 40 and, suddenly....

They swipe left*. Bastards.


Many people say job hunting is a lot like dating with feeling each other up (out), rejections, butterflies, and wishing for that second or third date (interview). It's sometimes even getting way too far in the date (interview process) to realize this person (job) is NOT for you but not knowing how to back out of it. Or the opposite; trying hard to not show them how much you like them, maintaining a poker face while internally screaming "Love me! Love me! ("Hire me! Hire me, please for the love of god!")

No one wants to appear desperate even when they are. But, hey, sometimes desperate gets the "right swipe" on CareerTinder. However, I am not ready to change my profile to job-floozy just yet.

Meanwhile, as I flail around in this unemployment vortex, my yard and deck have never looked better. This time home has channeled some type of superhero power that drives me to do projects around my house. I expect at any moment my husband will admit me to a psych ward somewhere but he just so happens to enjoy the benefits of my small home improvement projects. I believe he's holding off until I make my way to his office and start organizing his sh*t. (which is very soon by the way)

All joking aside, the job hunting process as a 40 something female is brutal. On the plus side, it has forced me to do a lot of soul searching on what makes the most sense for my family and, more importantly, ME. This is the time where I need to ask myself: Is it time for me to do what I need to do or want to do? (barring that what I want can still cover the bills)

What is it I want, you ask? Honestly, I am still on the path to figuring that out completely. I love to write and dabbling in social media, but have no work experience or degree in English or Journalism. I want to help people, but have no work experience or degree in Philanthropy, Social Services, Psychology or any medical related field. I want to make people laugh, feel normal, and love and appreciate who they are and what they mean to the people around them. (I have no damn clue what degree THAT would entail, but I am fairly certain my 2 year Associates Degree in Mechanical Drafting doesn't cover it). In short, I want to make a difference. It's kinda vague and doesn't really sound sexy enough to put on CareerTinder, now does it? At some point, a decision needs to be made. Do I continue to market the career driven gal in the AEC industry? Or do I take a chance on change? Honestly, I am not ready to pull the trigger on choosing one over the other. Rather, I plan to keep my options open and see what happens. I shall be patient for what molds perfectly into my 20+ career background. Or take a chance on the most unlikely opportunity to swipe right.

Soooo.... if it just so happens you're reading this and know someone who'd consider me CareerTinder swipe-right worthy, have 'em hit me up on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, PowerSchool, WeatherBug, FindFriends, Timehop, ESPN, PicStitch or the Chick-Fil-A app. Or send me an email if they are old-school like that. If you need me, I'll be working on my next home improvement project: How to Get Rid of the Kids for the Remainder of the Summer.

-Kristen


* Career-Tinder: my made up job hunting version of the dating (hooking up) app, Tinder. Swipes right: shows interest. Swipes left: moves on to the next candidate.

**I tried merging the two names, but Careerinder and Tinderreer sounded really negative. Not to mention the icon looks a bit like a career is up in flames, but it's all I could muster up in such a short amount of creative time in my kitchen... and it's ironic.