Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Deep Thoughts By MidLife Crisis Kristen

Mama always said, "You never know what's going to happen when you wake up in the morning." And, boy, was she right. I have had several "Mamas mornings" over the past year.

I would've never predicted I would be job-less the majority of 2017. I would've never predicted I would start my own business. And I would've most definitely never predicted an opportunity would come out of no where to sweep me off my feet after 10 months of stress, depression and frustration. And when I say it came out of no where, it did.

I have lots of emotions, mostly elation with relief as a close second. Third, is disappointment in myself. I really wanted my small business to take off, but the timing was off, coupled with the fact that I needed to be able to financially invest more in order to escalate the visibility. It just wasn't working. I believe in Social Media APPtitude and will continue to help parents who need the guidance and support, but for now, I need stability - financial, emotional and mental!

I look back at the past year and the events in which life happened. Several job opportunities presented themselves, but none of which were a fit for me. There were so many ups and downs. And, boy, do I wish I had found solace in exercise instead of junk food. I'd be one skinny beeotch. But I digress.

I did learn a lot about myself while I was having my mini-midlife crisis at home.

  • I like projects. And Amazon Prime was my assistant superintendent on each of them. I do believe my husband almost had a coronary after one delivery came in a UPS 18 wheeler. (true story - about the truck, not the coronary). Close call, that one.
  • I like to annoy my kids. I am certain each of them prayed for the day I would go back to an office far, far away.
  • I like food. Pretty sure I covered that already.
  • I like my husband. He isn't a patient man (shocker to those of you who know him. LOL), but he has been super patient with me during this entire ordeal. I believe he sensed an exorcism would be in order if he dared to say the wrong thing to me during my fragile state. 
  • I like my friends. Dear lord, you guys have put up with a lot! Will you still be my friend once I'm not so pathetic?
  • I like me. I mean, what's not to like with the messy gray hair, sweats, wrinkles, and a few extra LBs. In all seriousness, I am my own worst critic, for sure. But it's amazing what a little gift of time will do when you are left alone with just your thoughts. I'm not so bad afterall!
  • I liked the time at home, but now I'm ready. I used this time to really dig deep within myself to understand what path I wanted to take moving forward. I never would've thought I'd say this out loud, but I actually missed the fast paced corporate world. I missed the daily challenges and my brain actually getting stimulated by something other than "what show should I watch next on Netflix?" 
  • Don't ever cruise in January. Why is this relevant? It really isn't, but it's good advice. TRUST ME.
I know you're probably thinking, "well, if I had 10 months off, I would've done this and I would've done that." You think that, but when you're in it, truly in it emotionally, your body and mind go into another mode. I could ponder "I wish I had done..." all day long, but what's the point? The most important thing is it's the timeframe in my life that lead me to the next chapter. And I have an awesome renovated deck now too! 

March 5th begins this new chapter in my life, just under a year of being unemployed. I cannot wait. I have lots to do. I am mostly excited to see that gal in the mirror with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes instead of the one who resembles a homeless lady on crack. I've missed that gal!

Say goodbye to this one!
No filter = No Bueno

Now please excuse me while I go lose 30lbs in 3 weeks.

- Kristen

****Shout out to my friends and family for your support the past year. I have THE best village. <3

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