Friday, August 2, 2013

Reality TV Obsession Exposed By This Housewife of North Cackilacky.

I have a confession to make: I have a secret obsession with reality TV. This has been a problem since my freshman year of college. Through the years I have lost many brain cells watching seasons of the Real World, Road Rules, True Life, Laguna Beach, The Hills, Survivor, The Apprentice, Deadliest Catch, Bachelor/Bachelorette, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, Big Brother and others I cannot remember or will not openly admit to. Temptation Island, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Jon and Kate Plus 8.

So why am I admitting this now? I am annoyed at myself about this admitted obsession and I feel the need to purge this out of my system. I have slowly stopped watching most of them due to me finally reaching a point that I was ashamed of myself for wasting valuable time on complete garbage. Granted, many shows were canceled before I was able to come to that conclusion.

Minor detail.

I often wonder why society gets so drawn to these types of shows. I know why *I* get drawn to many of them. I am intrigued by lifestyles of people that I cannot fathom. I actually find myself having internal battles while being mesmerized by these people. A couple of years ago on Housewives of Bev Hills, Dana bragged about her $25,000 glasses. At first I felt a millisecond of admiration. Man, how I'd love to be able to afford to splurge on myself like that! Then it immediately turned to disgust in hopes that they were an award to herself after giving thousands more to her favorite charity. Something tells me, probably not. Yet season after season I watch and I admire and cringe and vomit in my mouth a little bit over the amounts of money these people blow. By the end of the season I swear I won’t watch another.


Reality television was nonexistent when I was a kid. The closest to reality tv we got was a 4 minute video playback of the reel to reel movie my dad created (in super speed) of my sister and me doing cartwheels in our backyard. Truth be told, if we brought a camera into our home today all one would catch would be kids on their game stations or shooting ball in the backyard. I would, more than likely, be doing laundry. D would be in the midst of his Insanity workout with our dog lying in the corner with a look of confusion. There isn’t a lot of excitement or entertainment value in our lives on a daily basis. My dinner at the local Mexican restaurant with a girlfriend over chips, salsa and a couple of beers is nothing compared to grabbing lunch at Sur with Lisa Vanderpump. No one wants to see me eat. Everyone wants proof that these skinny biznatches actually eat food. We don’t get private jet weekend getaways to Fiji. Our weekends consist of kid sleepovers with blanket tents and milkshakes. There are no huge bows sitting atop a brand new Maserati. The Toyota Sienna with the scratch on the side from the trashcan is where it’s at. The $25K sunglasses are replaced by a last minute grab of the 10 dollar shades in the spinning display at CVS.

We are living the simpler life and that is the core as to why we are drawn to these ridiculous shows displaying endless cash, bling, mansions, infinity pools, private jets, sports cars, turned insurmountable debt, and shallowness. Our guilty pleasure; an hour of admiration turned nausea turned relief. In small bits and pieces of episodes, I am still in awe. But more times than not, I like the fact that it reminds me that my life, while it is never going to be Reality TV worthy, means it’s normal, it’s stable and it’s all mine….normal names and all.

Eat your heart out, Kim Kardashian.