Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Summer Planning = Hoping for the Best/Preparing for the Worst

Don Henley once sang "Boys of Summer" and Kristen added "are lazy mofos and it's all my fault." (Country genre, of course)

I ran across a blog that made me long for the days of excitedly looking forward to relaxing summer days, well planned schedules, nap times, family reading circles and skipping happily through the yard, playing organized games of Badminton. Then I remembered those days never existed. Sadly I never get to plan our summer days together because I have always worked full time outside of the home and now that my kids are older and Pinterest exists, I am living the harsh reality that, yes, I continue to suck as a parent. 

I am completely and totally envious of this mom. Check out her fabulous idea! 

Printable Summer Schedules


http://www.icanteachmychild.com/



I'm serious. I think this is amaze-balls, but there's one problem...well two, actually:

1) I'm not home during the day to keep my kids on a fixed schedule.

and

2) My kids are older, therefore their list would be SLIGHTLY different. 








Here is where my kids' summer schedule deviates from the list above:
Click image below to enlarge.


www.bloodsweatcheers13.blogspot.com

In their defense, chores DO get done. Maybe not in the time frame I'd prefer, but done. And per their "done" standards, maybe not mine. But kinda-done, nonetheless.

The eating/snacking is no exaggeration. I may embellish for the sake of a good laugh on occasion, but when it comes to our grocery bill, I don't joke. They are pigs. I-am-so-starving-I-may-fall-out-from-exhaustion-even-though-I-slept-til-noon, PIGS.

They do go outside on occasion. It's usually when I turn off wifi or hide the controllers/games/power cord to Xbox in the trunk of my car, but they do see sunlight from time to time.

I absolutely would give anything to be home with them so I could manage their days, junk food intake and screen time, but that isn't my reality. Instead, I will do what I've always done as a working mom during summer months: 

- Leave them in the bed sleeping peacefully - happy to have my own reprieve from the school-morning-grumps.

- Write out their daily chore list - knowing that they understand the wrath if it's not done by 5pm.

-Have healthy snacks on hand - hopeful that they'll make good decisions. 
HAHAHAHA-snort-HAHAHAHA

- Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

Look, if I survive the teen years in one piece, it'll be a miracle in of itself. I have bigger battles to fight than "Who ate all the Oreos?"

Working moms of teens unite!



Warning: If you aren't fluent in sarcasm, you may not comprehend this blog. My kids aren't really complete unheathly lazy slugs. Just some of the time. On occasion. Only when I really really really need them to get sh*t done and we're all out of fruit.